What did I say about change?!? >.<

So my IUI is Thursday, instead of tomorrow.  My lead follie is only 17ish, and Dr. Lady said if I’d never done this before, we’d trigger today, and do IUI tomorrow.  But with tomorrow we’d probably only have 3 mature.  Waiting one more day gives it a little more time for more to catch up.  In this case, according to my doctor, more is better.  I’m trusting her.  She wants 4-5, and waiting one more day should do it.

So why am I so frazzled about this relatively minor change?  Maybe it’s in part because I’d already taken the day off tomorrow.  In the grand scheme of things, I don’t really mind giving up one shift.  Even if it’s one of my best shifts (4 people working means it rotates, and every 4 weeks you get first pick of the longest shift — that’s me tomorrow, or would’ve been).

Dr. Lady also said there’s no right answer.  Which is what she said in our meeting when we debated another IVF vs. IUI + injects.  I hate that there’s no right answer.  She also said that if we did IUI tomorrow, and it didn’t work, I might wish we’d waited that one more day.  So, that makes sense.

I just feel like I’m kind of throwing darts at a dartboard… with a blindfold on, to see if anything sticks.  Maybe it was the “there is no right answer” part that has me more frazzled than the one day change.  I want perfection.  And I have to accept that there is no perfection here.  Baby(/ies) or no baby.

Do or do not.  There is no try.


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