I keep thinking about how I wish I had to willpower to wait to test. Especially since my official test date is Valentine’s Day. But I know myself too well, and I don’t. So that means testing out the trigger-because that’s pure hcg, or pregnancy hormone. So I watch tests get lighter until the second line either goes away and (hopefully) comes back, or never fully goes away and gets darker. Well, obviously in all my experience, it’s just gone away and never come back. But you get the idea…
Also, if I waited until Valentine’s day and it were negative, it would really suck, so I’d rather know sooner one way or the other.
For the first IUI, I started watching my trigger like two days after I got it, or the day after the IUI. Which was, in my opinion, completely unnecessary. So now I wait a few days. I finally tested this morning, at 7 Days Past Trigger (dpt) / 6 dpiui. And the line is pretty damned faint. It will likely be even more faint tomorrow. We’ll see.
I guess that’s a whole lot of word vomit to say I don’t know anything yet. But I wouldn’t expect to know anything yet anyway. But at least testing out the trigger gives me a little something to do, and I feel like I have some power over a powerless situation. Well, not really, but at least I’ll know as soon as possible if it does turn out to be positive. But, I know my chances are pretty low if I don’t have a positive by 12dpo/dpiui. So that means I could be in limbo for up to six more days. Which in the long run isn’t necessarily that long. But when you’ve spent so much time wrapped up in something, and want it more than anything, you go a little extra crazy during the 2ww.
Which is what I’m pretty sure I sound like right now: a crazy person. Probably because I am. 😛 But that’s all I’ve got for you today!