It’s Official – BFN.

Well, as of the phone call yesterday afternoon, my blood test came back as a Big Fat Negative (BFN).

So we’re taking (at least) a month off to regroup.  Maybe start IVF #2 at the end of the month, or in the new year.

We have a WTF appointment with our doctor on 12/18.  And we decided to get a second opinion with the fertility clinic across town, too.  I expect we’ll want to stay with our current RE, as we love her, but it doesn’t hurt to get a second opinion.  That’s on 12/10.  I really have the suspicion that he’s going to tell us “donor eggs or bust.”  But it’s worth at least investigating.

We’re also going to start looking into adoption.  We’re willing and interested in both, and adoption can be a long, stressful process.  So the sooner the better, I think.  And if both plans come to fruition at the same time?  Then we’ll just be doubly lucky.  Absolutely insane and sleep deprived?  Sure.  But we’re really ok with that, and ready for that.  (Well, as ready as anyone who’s never done it before really ever is)

Nope.

I don’t think it’s fully sunk in, but AF (Aunt Flo = period) managed to seep through the progesterone shots.  When I did Crinone, the progesterone cream, there was no spotting or bleeding or anything.  In fact, it took another 2-3 days after stopping to even get my period.  For some reason, however, the injections, which are supposed to be MORE effective, were apparently less so.  So, maybe we can use that next time.  No butt stabbing, and my insurance actually covers it.

Technically, my beta (blood pregnancy test) is on Wednesday.  But I’ve been testing at home, anyway, and nada.  That coupled with the bleeding… is there a reasonable chance that I could still be pregnant?

Thanks, Lana.

Meet the kids

I’ve been hesitant to post this, with all the fragmentation, but I figure I may as well.  Besides, I’m trying to stay optimistic that this will be our first ever baby picture.  So those are the two embryos that we transferred on Friday.

Not much else to report here.  Still waiting waiting waiting… trying not to pull my hair out at every twinge.  I know full well that the drugs I’m on will also give me pregnancy-like symptoms, I just wish I wasn’t so attuned to it, and thinking about it every.damn.minute.

Continue reading

The waiting game

So we transferred both our embryos.  They weren’t very high quality, and had a fair amount of fragmentation (that’s bad).

But that’s what we got.  So here’s hoping it’s enough.

And for the time being I am PUPO – Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise.

PEO and Odds

This morning Andrew gave me my first PEO shot.  It really wasn’t that bad, not even as bad as the trigger shot, but probably because it was half the volume (.5cc).  Saturday it goes up, though, to 1cc.  Talk to me after a few days of that, and I’ll let you know how I feel about PEO. 😛

So my doctor called me today.  Yesterday when I was waiting for the call, I thought that if the doc called me, then it was definitely bad news, and she didn’t want my coordinator to give it to me.  Today, though, I knew there would be no new information, so I didn’t freak out.  She just wanted to check on me, which was sweet!  This is why I like that we’re using a smaller, more personal clinic.  The big clinic across town is, well, bigger, but much less personal–at least from the reviews on Yelp.

Anyway, she wanted to check on me, and make sure that I was ok with transferring both embryos, which I definitely am.  Ever since she told us we probably wouldn’t have frosties, I was thinking we should do two.

And then she said she puts our chances at around 50-50.

So there it is.  All this work, and we still only have a 50% chance of getting pregnant.

I hate this roller-coaster.  And I hate how I can go from zero to optimistic and back again in a matter of minutes.

All our eggs in my ute

So I had my Egg Retrieval yesterday.  I was pretty nervous.  Like, hella nervous.

And then I wake up from the anesthesia, and they tell me they retrieved four.  Only four eggs out of our already slim 7 follies.  I started crying.  A lot.  They tried to get me to stop crying because they wanted a good blood pressure number before I could go home, and of course stress elevates that. 😦  Anyway, obviously they eventually let me go home.

But I spent the past 24 hours terrified that none of the 4 eggs were going to be mature, or fertilize.

Well, all four were mature, and two of them fertilized!  So we’re going to do a three day transfer (3DT) of both embryos on Friday at 3pm.  Of course I wish we had more, but that doesn’t change anything.  And here’s hoping that both those little embies are rockstars!

Here goes nothing!!

Triggered!

So I got my trigger shot at 10:30pm last night!  Right on the nose.  It has to be exactly 35 hours before retrieval.
Let me clarify that, Andrew gave me my trigger shot.  That’s right, he stabbed me, in the butt, with a needle.  Here’s proof!

 

Don’t worry, that’s technically my lower back/hip area, not really my butt. 😛

When I start the PEO, I’ll get a butt-stab every single day.  Hooray!  😦  (I promise not to post a picture of every Hello Kitty Band-Aid).

Tomorrow’s my Egg Retrieval.  9:30am, check-in at 9.  They should be able to tell me how many eggs they got when I wake up.  Eep.

We’re staying in a hotel tonight, and going out for a yummy dinner!  Since I can’t eat or drink after midnight.

So yeah.  Tomorrow they knock me out, stick a needle in a very delicate place, and get my eggs.
I am not nervous.  At all.  #lyingthroughmyteeth