Hello baby!

OMG I have a baby.  A real eating, pooping, crying baby!  She does lots of all of those things.

Taking care of a tiny baby is hard.  Like, I knew it would be hard, but this is HARD.  I am exhausted a lot.

But honestly?  I wouldn’t change a thing.  I love her so much… even so much more than I ever dreamed.  Is this hard?  Yes.  Am I tired?  Yes.  But am I happy?  YES.  More than ever.

I was lucky enough to finally have a baby.  I had started to think this day would never come.  So I’m really not trying to complain here.

But, one side effect is little free time, for things like… oh, I don’t know, blogging. 😛  I have a few thoughts in my head to put down some time…. but that’s not now.

Hope to be back soon. ❤

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So…

roller_coaster

So, in the last like 4 days, I feel like my life has turned into this.

I should preface this with: baby girl is doing fine!  It’s not really about that.  My BP is consistently higher than I’d like, but not in the “call the doctor” zone they gave me.  I have another growth scan and appointment on Thursday, so I’ll ask if we should (further) up my meds.  And I know part of that is my slightly tight BP cuff.  I ordered a bigger one, and it doesn’t have the right plug for my machine (even though I called the company and asked which one to order!  Grr!) so I’m just using the one I’ve got, knowing it’ll run a little high, but give me a decent picture — so, better than *not* taking my BP at home.  If it gets super high, I’ll probably run to a drug store and take it there.

ANYway.  The roller coaster part is, I’m almost 7 months pregnant.  And we’re still considering a huge life change (besides the upcoming baby).  I don’t want to post too much about it until we know more.  It could be many months before we make something happen.  Or maybe not.  We’ll see.

Movement, and more waiting – 17 weeks

So I started feeling movement a little over a week ago.  I guess closer to two weeks now, since it was last Saturday.  I know that’s relatively early to feel it, but there it was, this tiny little buzzing feeling in my uterus. 🙂  I really can’t wait until baby’s movements are enough that Andrew can feel.

One week from today we have our Anatomy Scan.  At this point it’s been 5 weeks since we saw baby, and it’ll be 6 weeks for the A/S.  But, we heard the heartbeat, and I even got a Doppler so I could hear it at home.  And the movement helps remind me that he/she is still there, and presumably ok in there.

I still feel like there’s so much we need to do to get ready for baby.  We did a little in the nursery, super early.  It’s so cute, though, we couldn’t resist.  Waiting to find out the sex to do a little more decorating.  But I feel like I haven’t even looked at strollers, or cribs, or… lots and lots of other stuff.  We want to cloth diaper, but I any time I look at info about it, I’m incredibly overwhelmed.

And, of course, the house is messy.  It usually is.  We’re having a summer + “half baked” party in a few weeks, so, stuff needs to get moving in that direction.  Of course, as with any time we clean, I say “hopefully we can keep it this way now!”  Well, this time it seems extra important.  We are not neat people, but I refuse to raise my child in a messy house.  Err, a slovenly house that seems like two bachelors live here, I fully expect baby-related mess that I will be trying to stay on top of.

And today Babies R Us has a great coupon for 20% off your entire purchase, only good through Saturday.  If I had a crib or stroller or otherwise large purchase picked out, it would be perfect.  But I don’t.  And I wish it was next weekend, when we should know the sex, and can buy more specific stuff…..  First world problems, huh?

Sorry this post has been a mish mosh of random.  That’s what’s going through my brain these days.

In other news, I got Andrew this for Father’s Day:

I Love My Daddy This Much Infant Bodysuit

Good thing he doesn’t read my blog! 🙂

11w1d and waiting

6 days until my NT scan.  And then two days after that we fly to CA for my SIL’s 30th birthday party!  Big week ahead!  Last time we went to visit my brother was right after the m/c, and (much to his frustration) we’d just started the Atkins diet, because we needed to lose weight, and something else to focus on besides the m/c.  So maybe that holds some anxiety for me.  I’ve got a big scan right before we’re supposed to go to CA, and the irrational part of my brain is afraid history is going to repeat itself.  But I digress…

OTOH, I suddenly had the realization that I have *no* idea what I’m doing.  I mean, as far as being a Mom.  I spent so much time TTC, and learning about the process, hormones, fertility treatments, and making some great friends along the way… that I haven’t really done any research about parenting.  Cloth Diapering, swaddling, and so many MANY other things (many of these things people have a strong opinion on) that I know absolutely nothing about.  I know that there is probably way more information out there than I could possibly digest, let alone need.  But I haven’t really looked into any of it at all yet.  I’m still waiting, I guess.

After the NT scan, we’ll probably go public.  Assuming everything looks good.  Which I have no reason to think it won’t, but I’m still anxious.  Maybe after then I’ll believe it more.  But if the first 3 u/s didn’t give me peace of mind….  The down side to having so many early u/s is that it feels like it’s been forever since we had one.  6 more days.

But yeah, I feel like I’m still holding my breath.  It sucks.  They call it PgAL brain (Pregnant After a Loss)… and I guess it never really goes away.  Well, maybe once I’m holding my baby.

Is it Thursday yet? =/